FAMILY LIFE TODAY

Lake Region Conference of Seventh-day Adventists                    

Loss,Grief and Bereavement 

Focus on what God has given you  Happiness is within your reach.

   Recovery after loss

Healing and  forgiveness

      Spouse and  Family Loss

Parent and loss

                            Transitions

Location, employment, retirement, children leaving home, age, divorce, health and death are  some of the areas that are a part of adjusting  to loss.

What is grief?

The definition of grief includes: emotions and sensations that accompany the loss of someone or something dear to you. The English word comes from the Old French grève, meaning a heavy burden. This is very understandable because grief often weighs you down with sorrow and other emotions that can have both psychological and physical consequences.

When someone close to you dies, you don’t just lose that person on the physical level, you also face the loss of what might have been. Your pain can involve missing that person’s presence: sleeping in a bed that’s half empty, craving a scent or an embrace. But knowing that your loved one will miss all of the milestones in your life often lasts longer than the pain of the physical absence. This may include the children that were never born, the trips not taken, colleges not attended, and time lost. Every life marker can be a reminder and an occasion for renewed grief.

Bereavement is always a painful experience. Bereavement is an experience that must be treated with great respect. During the bereavement process family and friends need to recognize, and understand that everyone grieves differently.

Depending on their ages, children will deal with the loss in a very different way than adults.  Older children may become withdrawn or may begin to act out. For children of all ages, helping them to express their feelings of loss and pain will be a benefit to them and the entire family.

 

Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” While these stages represented the feelings of people who were themselves facing death, many people now apply them to experiencing other negative life changes (a break-up, loss of a job) and to people facing death or experiencing the death of loved ones.

Kübler-Ross proposed these stages of grief:

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what is going to happen/has happened.” 

The Difference between grief and depression is that

if you are grieving, you may experience a number of depressive symptoms, such as frequent crying, profound sadness, and depressed mood. However, while major depression is categorized as a psychological disorder, grief is not. Grief is a normal and healthy response to bereavement, not an illness. Its symptoms are painful, but they serve an adaptive purpose.

The American Psychiatric Association states that, as a general rule, normal grief does not warrant the use of antidepressants. While medication may alleviate some of the symptoms of grief, it cannot treat the cause, which is the loss itself. Furthermore, by numbing the pain that must be worked through eventually, antidepressants delay the mourning process. When grief continues to be a disruptive and debilitating presence, you may be suffering from depression. If you have a prior history of depression or lack social support, you are particularly at risk.

Grief tends to be mixed with trauma when a loss is sudden such as an unexpected a fatal heart attack, an accident. Or it’s perceived as being outside the normal cycle of life, as in the death of a child. No matter how difficult it may be, you have to believe  that there is hope and healing through God, counseling and time.

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

With prayer, love, support  time and commitment  the family will recover.

In some situations dealing with loss and grief you may have to ask for help, whether it is from your Pastor, family member, friend, or a professional.

"I miss daddy"

"I know I do too".

    Sometimes you have to go through in order to get your breakthrough

Thank you for your interest in Family Life's loss and grief !  We are committed to providing a biblically-sound and friendly place for people to learn, contribute, enjoy and heal. Please submit all articles to www.familylifelrc@yahoo.com.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 3:14

Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2

    Building  new Bridges and making new friends

Losing mommy was hard, but daddy is here.

Knowing Jesus has changed my life.

Loss of a sibling

Facing Retirement

Giving to others is a blessing